I’ll never forget the day my then-4-year-old declared she was “bored” for the 47th time during a 20-minute car ride. I was out of snack bribes and patience, so I blurted out, “Okay, would you rather have purple hair or green hair?” Her eyes lit up, she giggled, and suddenly we were having an actual conversation instead of her whining about how long it takes to get to Target.
That random question opened up something I didn’t expect. Not only did it distract her (hallelujah), but I learned she thinks purple is “fancy like a princess” and green is “yucky like boogers.” These tiny insights? They’re gold when you’re trying to connect with a kid who thinks one-word answers are sufficient communication.
This or that questions have become my secret weapon for everything from taming the bedtime stall tactics to making grocery shopping less painful. And the best part? Kids don’t even realize they’re building decision-making skills and learning to express preferences while we’re just… having fun.
What Are This or That Questions? (And Why They Work Better Than I Expected)
This or that questions are exactly what they sound like: you give kids two options, and they pick their favorite. That’s it. No complicated rules, no setup, no cleanup (finally, an activity that doesn’t involve glitter).
Here’s what I love: unlike asking “how was school today?” (which gets you “fine” every single time), these questions actually get kids talking. They’re comparing, thinking, and most importantly, sharing their opinions without even realizing it.
The sneaky parenting win? While your kid is debating whether they’d rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses, they’re practicing critical thinking, learning about their own preferences, and discovering that people can have different opinions. Plus, you’re learning what makes them tick—which comes in handy when you’re stuck on birthday gift ideas or trying to plan activities they’ll actually enjoy.
How to Play This or That Questions (The 2-Minute Guide)
The beauty of this game is that there are basically no rules. You ask a question with two choices, your kid picks one, and if you want to keep the conversation going, you ask, “Why?”
That’s it. Seriously.
Here’s when I use them most:
- Car rides: Beats “Are we there yet?” any day of the week
- Dinner table: Way more interesting than forcing everyone to share their “rose and thorn”
- Waiting rooms: Pediatrician, dentist, anywhere you’re trapped with an antsy kid.
- Bedtime stalling: Turn their delay tactics into bonding time (then still enforce lights out)
- Rainy days: When you’ve run out of screen time and craft ideas
Pro tip from someone who learned the hard way: keep it light and fun. No answer is wrong, and sometimes kids will pick the “weird” choice just to be silly. That’s actually the point—let them explore their preferences without judgment.
If you want to keep a stash of conversation starters on hand for different occasions, check out these conversation starters for kids that work for various age groups.
50 This or That Questions for Toddlers & Preschoolers (Ages 2-5)
Little ones need simple, concrete choices they can actually visualize. Keep it straightforward—no abstract concepts or things they’ve never experienced.
- Apples or bananas?
- Cats or dogs?
- Milk or juice?
- Sand or water play?
- Ball or teddy bear?
- Red or blue?
- Trucks or dolls?
- Bubbles or balloons?
- Pancakes or waffles?
- Slides or swings?
- Chocolate or vanilla?
- Stars or moon?
- Dinosaurs or unicorns?
- Summer or winter?
- Cookies or brownies?
- Movies or TV shows?
- Trains or boats?
- Carrots or broccoli?
- Hot or cold?
- Loud or quiet?
- Big or small?
- Fast or slow?
- Messy or clean?
- Books or toys?
- Parks or playgrounds?
- Morning or night?
- Hugs or high-fives?
- Singing or dancing?
- Popsicles or ice cream?
- Stickers or stamps?
- Crayons or markers?
- Bath time or bedtime story?
- Rainy days or sunny days?
- Socks or bare feet?
- Loud toys or quiet toys?
- Goldfish crackers or animal crackers?
- Playing inside or outside?
- Pizza or chicken nuggets?
- Butterflies or ladybugs?
- Frogs or turtles?
- Circles or squares?
- Silly faces or funny dances?
- Stuffed animals or action figures?
- Smoothies or milkshakes?
- Rainbows or clouds?
- Grass or flowers?
- Jumping or running?
- Naps or bedtime?
- Snack time or meal time?
- Splashing in puddles or making mud pies?
75 This or That Questions for Early Elementary (Ages 6-8)
Once kids hit school age, you can get a bit more creative. They understand comparisons better and love showing off what they know.
- Board games or video games?
- Dogs or cats?
- Superman or Batman?
- Zoo or aquarium?
- Skateboard or rollerblades?
- Elephants or giraffes?
- Big city or small town?
- Train or airplane?
- Cupcakes or muffins?
- Watermelon or pineapple?
- Cheese pizza or pepperoni pizza?
- Hot air balloon or helicopter?
- Reading or math?
- Recess or lunch?
- Library or gym class?
- Field trip or indoor recess?
- Science experiment or art project?
- Spelling bee or talent show?
- School bus or car ride?
- Backpack or lunchbox?
- Homework before or after dinner?
- Pen or pencil?
- Notebook or tablet?
- Teacher praise or sticker chart?
- Summer vacation or winter break?
- Camp or staycation?
- Swimming pool or beach?
- Mountains or ocean?
- Camping or hotel?
- Hiking or biking?
- Sports or crafts?
- Team sports or individual sports?
- Basketball or soccer?
- Baseball or football?
- Gymnastics or dance?
- Karate or swimming lessons?
- Playing tag or hide and seek?
- Dodgeball or capture the flag?
- Jump rope or hula hoop?
- Bike riding or scooter riding?
- Trampoline or bouncy castle?
- Fort building or treasure hunt?
- LEGO or building blocks?
- Puzzles or coloring?
- Playing dress-up or playing pretend?
- Magic tricks or science experiments?
- Slime making or painting?
- Baking cookies or decorating cupcakes?
- Playing restaurant or playing school?
- Indoor fort or outdoor treehouse?
- Glow sticks or flashlights?
- Sidewalk chalk or water balloons?
- Catching fireflies or looking at stars?
- Riding bikes or playing at the park?
- Slip ‘n slide or sprinkler?
- Sandcastles or digging for treasure?
- Flying a kite or blowing bubbles?
- Nature walk or playground?
- Bug hunting or bird watching?
- Picking flowers or collecting rocks?
- Cloud watching or star gazing?
- Fishing or catching frogs?
- Planting a garden or watering plants?
- Making daisy chains or leaf piles?
- Outdoor picnic or indoor fort dinner?
- S’mores or hot dogs over a campfire?
- Telescope or microscope?
- Robot or rocket ship?
- Astronaut or scientist?
- Time machine or teleporter?
- Superpower: invisibility or flying?
- Pet dragon or pet dinosaur?
- Live underwater or in the sky?
- Magic wand or magic carpet?
- Treehouse or underground clubhouse?
If you’re looking for more ways to engage kids during long car rides or road trips, you might also enjoy these road trip games for kids that have saved my sanity more times than I can count.
75 This or That Questions for Tweens (Ages 9-12)
Older kids can handle more nuanced questions and actually enjoy the philosophical ones. This is where it gets really interesting because you learn how they’re starting to form their own worldviews.
- Time travel to the past or future?
- Speak every language or talk to animals?
- Be a giant or a tiny person?
- Robot friend or alien friend?
- Control the weather or talk to ghosts?
- Live in a world of LEGO or Play-Doh?
- Wonderland with Alice or Neverland with Peter Pan?
- Step into a cartoon world or a video game world?
- Be a character in a Disney or Pixar movie?
- Broccoli-flavored ice cream or chocolate-flavored broccoli?
- History or science class?
- Astronomy or geology?
- Ancient Greece or Ancient Rome?
- Learning with videos or reading books?
- Writing essays or solving math problems?
- Exploring space or the ocean?
- Museum or zoo field trip?
- Learning about pirates or cowboys?
- Study ancient Egypt or medieval times?
- Learn coding or learn a new language?
- TikTok or YouTube?
- Instagram or Snapchat?
- Text or call?
- Emoji or GIF?
- Streaming or cable TV?
- Netflix or Disney+?
- Marvel or DC?
- Harry Potter or Percy Jackson?
- Taylor Swift or Olivia Rodrigo?
- Concert or sporting event?
- Fame or fortune?
- Be really smart or really popular?
- Have many friends or one best friend?
- Be the funniest or the smartest?
- Win at everything or be good at teamwork?
- School cafeteria or packed lunch?
- Early bird or night owl?
- Organized or spontaneous?
- Leader or supporter?
- Competitive or collaborative?
- City life or country life?
- Mountains or beach for vacation?
- Hot climate or cold climate?
- Adventure or relaxation?
- Road trip or flight?
- Camping or luxury hotel?
- Amusement park or water park?
- Skiing or surfing?
- Exploring cities or nature?
- Trying new foods or eating favorites?
- Shopping or gaming?
- Fashion or comfort?
- Sneakers or boots?
- Jeans or joggers?
- Hoodie or jacket?
- Long hair or short hair?
- Bold colors or neutrals?
- Vintage or modern style?
- Accessories or minimal look?
- Name brand or thrift store?
- E-reader or physical books?
- Fiction or nonfiction?
- Fantasy or realistic fiction?
- Series or standalone books?
- Graphic novels or chapter books?
- Library or bookstore?
- Reading in bed or on the couch?
- Audiobooks or reading yourself?
- Poetry or prose?
- Book or movie version?
- Early dismissal or late start?
- Group project or solo work?
- Oral presentation or written report?
- Multiple choice or essay tests?
- Study alone or with friends?
These questions work great when you’re trying to understand your tween better—which becomes increasingly important as they navigate more complex social situations and develop their independence.
50 Food & Snack This or That Questions
Food questions are always a hit because kids have STRONG opinions about what they eat. Plus, you might discover your picky eater actually would try something new.
- Pizza or burgers?
- Tacos or spaghetti?
- Chicken nuggets or mac and cheese?
- Hot dogs or hamburgers?
- Grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly?
- French fries or onion rings?
- Ketchup or mustard?
- Ranch or honey mustard?
- Apples or oranges?
- Strawberries or blueberries?
- Grapes or cherries?
- Bananas or peaches?
- Carrots or celery?
- Popcorn or pretzels?
- Chips or crackers?
- Cookies or candy?
- Gummy bears or chocolate?
- Ice cream or popsicles?
- Cake or pie?
- Donuts or muffins?
- Cereal or oatmeal?
- Toast or bagels?
- Scrambled or fried eggs?
- Bacon or sausage?
- Orange juice or apple juice?
- Milk or chocolate milk?
- Lemonade or iced tea?
- Smoothies or milkshakes?
- Water or sports drink?
- Hot chocolate or apple cider?
- Sweet or salty snacks?
- Crunchy or chewy?
- Spicy or mild?
- Cold pizza or reheated?
- Breakfast for dinner or dinner for breakfast?
- Eating with hands or utensils?
- Buffet or ordering from a menu?
- Restaurant or homemade?
- Picnic or dining room?
- Food truck or sit-down restaurant?
- Try new foods or stick to favorites?
- Dessert before or after dinner?
- Big breakfast or big dinner?
- Packed lunch or school lunch?
- Afternoon snack or bedtime snack?
- Candy corn or jellybeans?
- Cotton candy or funnel cake?
- Nachos or popcorn at movies?
- Plain or everything bagel?
- Syrup or honey on pancakes?
For more food-related activities, you might want to check out our collection of easy recipes for kids that you can make together—especially after discovering their food preferences through these questions!
If you’re interested in getting your kids more involved in the kitchen, these kids’ baking and cooking sets make it so much easier (and less messy) to let them help with meal prep.
40 Animal This or That Questions
Animal questions never get old. Kids love talking about creatures, whether real or imaginary.
30 Silly & Funny This or That Questions
Sometimes you just need questions that make zero sense but get everyone giggling. These are my secret weapons when someone’s in a grumpy mood.
- Mustache made of candy or eyebrows made of spaghetti?
- Always wear clothes backward or inside out?
- Fly on a broomstick or ride in a flying teacup?
- Pig nose or rabbit ears?
- Trampoline bed or slide for stairs?
- Sock puppet gloves or noodle scarf?
- Walk backward or hop on one foot all day?
- Gummy bear pillow or pudding mattress?
- Hot sauce toothpaste or pickle juice face wash?
- Pet cat-sized dinosaur or mouse-sized elephant?
- Glitter perfume or glue deodorant?
- Walk on stilts or ride a unicycle everywhere?
- Sandwich with chocolate sauce or salad with jellybeans?
- Talk like a pirate or move like a robot?
- Have spaghetti hair or marshmallow fingers?
- Sneeze confetti or burp bubbles?
- Laugh like a hyena or dance like a chicken?
- Wear clown shoes or a silly hat forever?
- Have a unicorn horn or a mermaid tail?
- Live in a giant shoe or a pumpkin?
- Ride a giant snail or a tiny race car?
- Have pizza-flavored toothpaste or broccoli-flavored candy?
- Sleep in a hammock or a sleeping bag forever?
- Only whisper or only shout?
- Have rainbow tears or sparkly sneezes?
- Eat only square food or only round food?
- Have permanent hiccups or permanent eye twitches?
- Sing everything you say or dance everywhere you go?
- Have extremely long fingernails or extremely long toenails?
- Be covered in fur or covered in feathers?
If you need more silly ways to connect with your kids and make them laugh, these jokes for kids are also guaranteed giggle-inducers.
25 Seasonal & Holiday Questions
Seasonal questions are perfect for specific times of the year and help kids articulate what they love about different seasons.
- Summer or winter?
- Spring or fall?
- Snow days or beach days?
- Hot weather or cold weather?
- Swimming or sledding?
- Ice cream in summer or hot cocoa in winter?
- Sandcastles or snowmen?
- Flip flops or boots?
- Shorts or sweaters?
- Sunglasses or scarves?
- Christmas or Halloween?
- Easter or Thanksgiving?
- Birthday parties or holiday celebrations?
- Fireworks or Christmas lights?
- Pumpkin carving or decorating Easter eggs?
- Trick-or-treating or opening presents?
- Valentine’s Day or St. Patrick’s Day?
- New Year’s Eve or Fourth of July?
- Holiday cookies or Halloween candy?
- Santa or the Easter Bunny?
- Celebrating holidays with gifts or with food?
- Big holiday party or small family gathering?
- Staying up late on New Year’s or waking up early on Christmas?
- Making holiday crafts or baking holiday treats?
- Holiday songs or holiday movies?
Speaking of holidays, if you’re looking for festive activities to do together, check out these holiday activity sets that make celebrating special occasions way more fun (and keep kids busy while you prep).
20 Deep & Thoughtful Questions (For Older Kids)
These are the questions that sometimes surprise me with how thoughtful my kids can be. Save these for quiet moments when you have time for a real conversation.
When I Use These Questions (Real Mom Scenarios)
Here’s the thing nobody tells you about parenting: the best conversations happen in the most random moments. Not during the scheduled “quality time” you planned, but in the car on the way to soccer practice or while you’re both waiting for the dentist.
I keep a mental list of these questions for specific situations. When my 7-year-old is melting down because her brother looked at her funny, I’ll sometimes interrupt with “Okay, but real quick—would you rather have a pet unicorn or a pet dragon?” It’s ridiculous enough to snap her out of the spiral and give us both a reset.
During dinner, when everyone’s giving one-word answers about their day, I’ll throw out a food question like “cheese pizza or pepperoni?” Suddenly, we’re debating the merits of various pizza toppings, and I’m learning that my son thinks cheese pizza is “for babies” (news to me).
The bedtime stall is real in our house. Instead of getting frustrated when my daughter asks for the 47th glass of water, I’ll say, “One question and then lights out: would you rather be able to fly or be invisible?” We talk for a few minutes, she shares her pick and why, and then I can enforce bedtime without it feeling like I’m cutting off connection time.
For longer activities where kids need entertainment, I keep printable kids activity books and workbooks on hand, but this or that questions require zero prep and zero materials—just your voice and a willingness to be silly.
More Ways to Keep Kids Engaged
If this or that questions become your family’s new favorite thing (like they did for us), you might also enjoy similar conversation games. Would you rather questions for kids are basically cousins to this or that questions, and fun trivia questions for kids add an educational twist.
For more structured activities that still promote connection and conversation, board games for kids provide the same benefits of decision-making and preference-sharing in a game format.
And when you need to mix things up entirely, check out our full list of activities for kids for days when you’ve exhausted the question game (it happens to all of us).
FAQ
What age is appropriate for this or that question?
You can start as early as age 2-3 with very simple, concrete choices like “apples or bananas.” Toddlers love having control over decisions, even tiny ones. As kids get older, you can introduce more complex and abstract questions. The key is matching the question difficulty to your child’s developmental stage and life experiences.
How do these or that questions help child development?
These questions build several important skills without kids even realizing it. They practice decision-making, learn to compare and contrast, develop their sense of preferences, and build conversation skills. Kids also learn that different people can have different opinions, which is an important social skill. Plus, answering these questions helps children develop their sense of identity as they figure out what they like and why.
What’s the difference between “this or that” and “would you rather” questions?
They’re essentially the same game with slightly different phrasing. “This or that” questions are usually simpler (“cats or dogs?”) while “would you rather” questions tend to be phrased as scenarios (“Would you rather have a pet cat or a pet dog?”). Both work great for starting conversations and learning about your kids’ preferences.
When is the best time to play this game with kids?
Anytime you’re together and want to connect! The beauty of this game is that it requires zero materials and zero setup. It’s perfect for car rides, waiting rooms, dinner table conversation, bedtime wind-down, rainy days, or anytime your kid says they’re bored. I’ve found it works especially well during transitions or moments when kids are feeling chatty.
Can I make up my own this-or-that questions?
Absolutely! In fact, personalized questions based on your child’s interests often work even better than generic ones. If your kid is obsessed with dinosaurs, create questions about different dinosaur species. If they love a particular TV show, ask questions about the characters. The more relevant to their world, the more engaged they’ll be.
There you have it—300+ questions that have saved me from countless “I’m bored” complaints and awkward silences. The magic isn’t in asking the perfect question, though. It’s in showing your kid that you’re genuinely curious about their answer, even if they pick the “wrong” one (looking at you, kid who prefers cold pizza).
These simple questions have given me more insight into how my kids think than a hundred “how was school?” attempts ever did. Plus, they’re just fun—which, let’s be honest, is sometimes exactly what we all need in the middle of a chaotic parenting day.